3 Reasons We Need to Have “The Talk”
Talking about death is uncomfortable, but it is also necessary. Why? Let’s explore 3 reasons it is imperative to have “the talk” with your spouse, family, or even yourself.
It is important to note that each state has its own rules and regulations regarding cemeteries and funeral homes.
Decisions, Decisions, Decisions
There are a lot of decisions to be made when someone passes away. Burial or cremation? Where should they be interred? What merchandise would they prefer? What type of clothing do I need to pick out? Who should make all of these decisions? The answer is simple - YOU. Only you know what you want unless you spell it out explicitly for someone else, which is exactly why I encourage preplanning. If you know that you would like a tahara as your means of preparation, a particular charitable fund for donations or your favorite song to be playing at the service, it needs to be documented. Your family wants to make the right decisions, but they are not mind readers. Let them know what you want, and if that is too uncomfortable, reach out to your local funeral home, or a third party such as an attorney to document your wishes - your support circle is larger than you may realize and we have to use all of our resources.
Know Your Options
What are your options? Well, there are quite a few options to consider, and I am happy to discuss this in-depth, but for now, let’s take a look at some of the interment and preplanning options.
You have the option to select your disposition, which may include cremation, burial, or depending on where you live, aquamation or human composting. If you decide that you would like a burial and do not have cemetery property, it is important to consider options when it comes to selecting a grave or a larger plot. Today, more cemeteries also allow for the interment of cremated remains, offering families alternatives to traditional burial plots.
Preplanning a funeral service also offers an array of options. You may plan for just the funeral service, which includes the funeral home’s services and merchandise, or you may wish to include the Cash Advances (Clergy Honorarium, Cemetery Grave Opening, Certified Copies of the Death Certificate, Permits, etc.) as well if this is something that the funeral home offers as part of their preplan arrangement. You may also elect to plan without remitting payment. While there are certainly benefits to paying for a funeral in advance, it is important to note that this is not the only option.
Take the Guesswork out of your Vital Statistical Information
At the time of need, or when preplanning, the funeral director will ask a series of questions to help them complete necessary paperwork, including certified copies of the death certificate. Believe it or not, some of this information may become a guessing game amongst family members or lead to a scavenger hunt for important documents. Aside from basic statistics such as your name, address, birthdate and social security number, the funeral home will need:
Parents’ Names (including Mother’s Maiden Name)
Military Discharge Information & Documents
Highest Level of Education
Informant Name and Contact Information
Cemetery Deed/Plot Information
Hebrew Name (if the decedent is of the Jewish faith)
State-Dependent Information (depending on your state of residence additional information may include):
Parents’ State of Birth
Years Lived in County
Last Place of Employment
Years in Occupation
